AL-HAQQ

There is echo in my heartbeats

Shallow, silent.

like screams trapped in an empty box,

Underground, buried.

Does it ever stop?

The feeling of being broken,

the feeling of not belonging.

what is gone and what endured?

It is like screaming in silence

Trying to articulate the pain,

the rotten memories.

always fighting

against a dozen giants,

my dozen giants.

Always falling, and rising

and moving,

forward, always forward.

And I know where i came from

But I can’t remember where I’m going

Like a broken compass, lost in chaos.

in battlefield, for years.

Month after month, day after day -

Without rest, without truce.

  you’ll know it is real

when your body eats your soul again

from the insides, Alive and awake.

collapsing

your heart shrinking,

drowning

from all the pain you have outlived

and when it gets better,

You gotta hold tight, with purple fingers

And unwavering hope

That one day, you would stop the feeling,

like you stopped the bleeding.

Keeping them clean,

and protected.

The memories, I mean.

but if it doesn’t,

i will tell you

that it will choke you:

the fear

Of what if this time,

you can’t come back from death.

And it will force you To walk,

but this time -

Away.

open your eyes and look up

Open your eyes and look around.

Life is passing by and you are standing still.

give up, please.

stop waiting, expecting;

that’s what kills people.

cuts their throat, bleeds them out.

become friends with the solitude.

because there is no better way to topple an enemy,

than becoming his ally.

stop driving and go seat at the back,

smoke a joint and enjoy the ride.

destroy everything you know and start over.

Over,

and

over,

And again, over.

Go visit the Darkness and come back

kid, remember you must always come back

Because once you master the darkness,

you will see with absolute clarity

that you are meant to just let go

To trust the lessons, and not the reasons.

take it all in, breath and let go.

Close your eyes, it will help.

Dream your future and run the race.

And if you are tired take a break,

Get some rest.

And go dream, one more time

In eternity, Al-Haqq.