on Love

what is it that we call love.

a feeling that leaves you altered.

an emotion that rips you apart

A force that bends you over

and over

until complete destruction of our own selfishness.

what is it that make us love self-destruction

and lack of control.

what is it that makes you feel numbly alive

and extremely powerful.

ask me -

I’d say is the urge to leave your body,

the urge to become extraordinary for somebody else.

To release the burden of self-loathing

by unconsciously pouring love

into accidental souls we call mates.

The love we never found for ourselves

Big blue eyes and a troubled mind.

And for 3 hours We were extraordinary for each other.

extraordinarily loving, caring and connected.

i could see the fire in his eyes,

as If I had been there all the time,

watching while he burned.

I could see the pain of not being loved,

of not knowing who he was,

or maybe the opposite –

 the pain of knowing exactly who he was.

a desperate cry to be heard,

to be loved,

to be touched and seen.

A desperate cry for me

 to be the person he needed me to be,

and nothing else.

And as it all started,

now it is all falling apart.

i leave the bar and his blue eyes behind,

closing mine tightly in an effort to wake up from a dream.

How contrary that is.

And now, as I am boarding my flight

I think to myself,

were you even real.

oh Guy you will make my Days dream.

Thank you for loving me for 3 hours.

Stay alive Guy.