on shame

Today, i realized two things.  

The first and most important thing is

that sometimes you gotta leave the fucking table

 when food is no longer being served.

And you gotta respect

and love yourself enough

that you are capable of removing yourself

from those situations that no longer serve you.

And second,

I learned that shame is absolute bullshit.

 i learned that im not here to feel shame for who i am

or what i think.

 i am here to be me,

to feel me and do me

- and if you don’t want to be part of it,

you don’t have to.

Or maybe, i don’t even want you.

and i learned

that I am not here to make anyone happy,

 to keep things civil,

to be politically correct or be liked.

I am here to live, according to my principles and not yours.

 i am here to be free,

free of fear, of judgements and limitations.

and if you think

you will have a more successful redemption

just because you pretended to care

while selfishly serving your own interests and emotions for a minute –

that’s on You.

and I can’t help you.

but I would recommend that instead of exploding go for imploding.

And see what happens.

Because maybe,

it is not on me that you feel so scared.

Maybe,

you need to find your fucking table,

look at your fucking plate and walk the fuck away.

maybe it is a matter of shame. 

and so,

as heavy as our own shame make us feel,

why the fuck do we keep shaming others?

As if it was transferable.

have a fucking conversation with your demons,

maybe that will help.